Positivity is bullsh*t

At least I used to think that way

I would call myself a realist. Optimism never seemed to make any sense to me, and pessimism just sounds like a crappy way to go through life. I’d like to think that being a realist helps me create proper expectations so I’m not disappointed when things don’t go my way.

The problem with being a realist is that you’re always riding the line of optimism and pessimism.

As soon as it makes more sense that you’re not going to figure something out, your realist brain steps in, crunches some numbers, and spits out a probability.

It’s just, if you’re an entrepreneur like I am, everything we do is against the odds. In fact, a study done by the Bureau of Labor Statistics found that 70% of businesses fail within the first decade.

I’m no statistician, but those aren’t great odds. Especially because I’m no one special. I don’t have an MBA. I didn’t work on Wall Street for a decade or have life savings before I started my business.

I’m just a former door to door sales guy who started a podcast. Everything I do has low chances of success.

Recently I’ve been riding the line of pessimism like crazy. When something bad happens, I basically expected it to happen, which is great for expectation management, but not great for my psyche. Why?

Because you get more of that which you focus on. Being constantly focused on things that could go wrong will only draw my attention to things that can go wrong and never lets me sink into the true winning of mindset of an entrepreneur.

That mindset is predicated upon the question of “What if this goes right?” That’s where all beauty and innovation comes from—the outlandish and unsubstantiated belief that even though it makes no sense, I think this is going to be awesome.

The other day, my wife and I started watching Ted Lasso, and I gotta say…this was one of those times that a show made me think about myself and how I could do better. In the show, a football coach from the US gets hired by a soccer organization in the UK to coach their team even though he knows nothing about the sport.

It’s a feel good show that is centered around Ted’s blind optimism and contagious fervor for the unknown in life. He always has a smile and is encouraging to others. He is genuine and kind, and even in the face of certain adversity, he reminds you to be like the goldfish because of their short memory, and get back out there.

He reminds you of what he calls “rom-comm-unism” which is the ardent belief that everything is going to turn out okay. No good story ends in the middle of a storm. That usually comes somewhere in the middle.

So if you’re going through a storm right now, don’t worry. Your story isn’t finished. I don’t know what’s gonna happen next, and newsflash, NEITHER DO YOU.

But if we are going to speculate about the unknown, we may as well start expecting the good things to come our way. Not only will it train our brains to look for more good things in life, but it will also help us be more productive and refreshingly optimistic when things are not going well.

All of this to say, if you’re looking for a good series to catch up on during the holiday season, I recommend Ted Lasso. I’ve been impressed so far, and I appreciated the reminder that I’d rather be more like Ted than Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.

Are you an optimist, pessimist, or realist?